A man in a bar has a couple of beers and the bartender tells him he owes $6

A man in a bar has a couple of beers and the bartender tells him he owes $6.50. "But I paid, don't you remember?" says the customer. "Okay," says the bartender, "if you said you paid, you did." The man then goes outside and tells the first person he sees that the bartender can't keep track of whether his customers have paid. The second man then ruses in, orders a beer and later pulls the same stunt.The barkeeper replies, "If you say you paid, I'll take your word for it." Soon the customer goes into the street, sees an old friend, and tells him how to get free drinks.The man hurries into the bar and begins to drink highballs when suddenly,the bartender leans over and says, "You know, a funny thing happened in here tonight. Two men were drinking beer, neither paid and both claimed that they did. The next guy who tries that is going to get punched right on the face." "Don't bother me with your troubles," the final patron responds. "Just give me my change and I'll be on my way."

A MILLER and his son were driving their Ass to a neighboring fairto sell him

A MILLER and his son were driving their Ass to a neighboring fairto sell him. They had not gone far when they met with a troop ofwomen collected round a well, talking and laughing. "Lookthere," cried one of them, "did you ever see such fellows, to betrudging along the road on foot when they might ride?' The oldman hearing this, quickly made his son mount the Ass, andcontinued to walk along merrily by his side. Presently they cameup to a group of old men in earnest debate. "There," said one ofthem, "it proves what I was a-saying. What respect is shown toold age in these days? Do you see that idle lad riding while hisold father has to walk? Get down, you young scapegrace, and letthe old man rest his weary limbs." Upon this the old man made hisson dismount, and got up himself. In this manner they had notproceeded far when they met a company of women and children:"Why, you lazy old fellow," cried several tongues at once, "howcan you ride upon the beast, while that poor little lad there canhardly keep pace by the side of you?' The good-natured Millerimmediately took up his son behind him. They had now almostreached the town. "Pray, honest friend," said a citizen, "isthat Ass your own?' "Yes," replied the old man. "O, one wouldnot have thought so," said the other, "by the way you load him. Why, you two fellows are better able to carry the poor beast thanhe you." "Anything to please you," said the old man; "we can buttry." So, alighting with his son, they tied the legs of the Asstogether and with the help of a pole endeavored to carry him ontheir shoulders over a bridge near the entrance to the town. This entertaining sight brought the people in crowds to laugh atit, till the Ass, not liking the noise nor the strange handlingthat he was subject to, broke the cords that bound him and,tumbling off the pole, fell into the river. Upon this, the oldman, vexed and ashamed, made the best of his way home again,convinced that by endeavoring to please everybody he had pleasednobody, and lost his Ass in the bargain.